There's No Going Back
by Felinxx
Summary: What if Booth and Brennan's lives had taken another turn? Read and find out. Rating might change to M later.
1. Chapter 1

Helloooooo again :) A new story that came to me :)

I had help of the lovely NatesMama. She's a great writer so if you haven't already read her stories, then you should definitely do that! :)

(And for those who are following 'One Night Out': The rest of the chapters will be coming, I promise. I haven't forgotten it :) )

So please let me know what you think about this.

* * *

There's No Going Back

"Booth?" A sleepy voice greeted him the moment he stepped into the bedroom.

Shedding his tie, shirt and pants he murmured. "Yeah… I'm home, Honey. Go back to sleep."

But of course she just wouldn't do that. "Where have you been?"

"Had to work late." He replied on his way to the bathroom. "Go back to sleep, I'm going to take a shower."

"Booth, it's almost five in the morning!" But he didn't hear her cursing anymore; the door to the bathroom was already closed.

Huffing she turned around and put the pillow over her head in order to cut out the disturbing noises of the shower. _Tomorrow you're in for an interrogation, Seeley Joseph Booth! For once_ _I_ _will be the one asking questions and you're the one answering them!_

When he returned from his nightly shower he sighed in relief as he glanced at the again sleeping woman on the bed. He was too tired to argue with her right now. What he needed was a hell of a lot of sleep; and time. Time to think and time to come clear about a few things; or about his whole life to be exactly.

So he put on a new pair of boxers and a shirt, got into bed and turned his back to the woman next to him. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and mentally returned to the day a few months back. The day that changed his life.

* * *

 _"_ _Sir, with all due respect, I don't care how important this Temperance Brennan is in the world of forensic anthropology. I won't work with her and I won't meet with her here. I don't need a partner and that's final."_

 _"_ _Well, Booth, with all due respect, that is definitely not your decision to make. I don't care about your position, I am your superior, Booth, and the important decisions are made by me. Don't forget your place here, Agent, or your career will be over sooner than you'd like." Cullen growled._

 _"_ _You will partner with the lady scientist, you will treat her with respect and you will share your conclusions with her. Your time as a lone wolf agent is over, Booth, like it or not!" The Deputy Director slammed his fist on the table. "Get a grip, Booth. You're good but you're not indispensable."_

 _Booth locked his jaw but didn't respond to his boss's rant. He knew when it was better to shut up and now definitely was that time._

 _He didn't have the time to think about an answer either, before there was a knock on the door. Both men turned their heads in time to see a woman enter the office._

 _"_ _Good morning. You wanted me to see me, Director Cullen?" Without waiting for an answer she continued._

 _"_ _I hope this is important enough for you to infringe on my extremely valuable time. I do not like being ordered around without being suitably informed of the reasons. Neither you nor my actual boss were kind enough to give me that courtesy." Stubbornly she crossed her arms in front of her chest and tilted her chin up, much like a little girl that doesn't get the toy she so desperately wants._

 _"_ _Oh my God, are you serious?" Booth groaned. "You want me to work with someone like_ _that_ _?" Booth pointed at her but looked at his boss expectantly._ I can't believe this. He wants me to work with a freaking crazy woman.

 _"_ _I think I would remember if I had addressed you.." The anthropologist snarled and turned a death glare in Booth's direction._

 _"_ _Stop it, you two!" Cullen grumbled. '_ God, I feel like I'm back in kindergarten again.'

 _With a calmer voice he talked to Brennan again. "Dr. Brennan, I truly don't know why your boss didn't inform you about the reasons for this meeting, especially since they're affecting you and your work with both the FBI and Jeffersonian. To get right to the point, from this day on you will partner with Agent Booth here" He gestured towards Booth. "He's our best agent with the highest solve rate, but both myself and Dr. Goodman believe that with your help, it would increase immensely."_

 _Brennan's eyes grew wider with every word coming out of the Director's mouth. After he ended his speech Brennan turned her head first to Booth, and then back to Cullen again. "I… don't think so…"_

 _"_ _I'm sorry, Dr. Brennan, but as I said to Booth before, this is not your decision to make. Your boss already agreed to it. The only thing both of you have to do now is get to know each other. I don't care how you do it, are we clear? You're both adults so that shouldn't be that much of a problem." He gave them both a stern look that didn't allow any arguments._

 _"_ _Yes, Sir." Booth just mumbled looking down at his feet. Somehow he had to make this work. Surely this Temperance Brennan wasn't as difficult as she appeared to be._

 _Brennan just narrowed her eyes and turned to Booth. "Don't worry, Agent Booth, I will resolve everything." And without a word of goodbye, Brennan was gone._

 _"_ _You better go get her or you can clear your precious desk here, Booth." Cullen spit._

 _The Agent looked horrified at his boss' words and sprinted after the furious woman. Just before the elevator doors opened Booth had reached her and grabbed her arm in order to prevent her from stepping into the lift._

 _"_ _Listen, Brennan, I don't like this whole situation either, but please can we just try this?" He pleaded. "Cullen gave me an ultimatum and if we can't make this work, then my career within the FBI will be over."_

 _She tucked forcefully on the arm which was still within his grip and looked up at him angrily. "First of all, it's_ _Dr._ _Brennan for you and secondly, why exactly should your situation concern me, Agent Booth? I'm a forensic anthropologist, I don't work crimes from this century!"_

* * *

He chuckled quietly as he thought about their first meeting. Back then he had no idea what a beautiful person there was behind that cold surface. Only a few people got to know the real Temperance Brennan and somehow he was lucky enough to be one of them, right before he fell for that amazing woman.

With thoughts of Brennan in his head, could finally close his eyes with a smile on his face. Suddenly the much-needed sleep seemed to come easily. Tomorrow he'd think about things further.

* * *

Should I continue? Please let me know! :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello my friends,**

 **here's the new chapter.**

 **I hope you like it as much as the first one.**

 **Thanks for all the reviews, favorites and story alerts. That really makes me happy :)**

 **And special thanks to NatesMama who helped me with this chapter again!**

* * *

Chapter 2

"I want to know where you were last night, Seeley!" Rebecca stood in the kitchen, arms crossed in front of her chest.

Booth sighed in frustration "I told you before and I'll tell you again, I had to work late!"

"Oh yeah, until four in the morning? Your boss must be really proud of you!"

"You know what? Never mind…" He answered flatly.

When did that happen? When did they go from being in love to being angry at each other all the time? It was true, he worked late because there were a hell of a lot case files on his desk which needed to be finished. And maybe he wasn't honest with her a few times before but now he was. Rebecca had made it clear that one more slip-up would mean the end of their relationship.

"Never mind?! Listen to me, Seeley Booth, I'm glad that you didn't get me pregnant yet. I sure as hell don't want you to father my child anymore! You're a liar, Seeley!" The blonde haired woman was fuming now.

Booth lost it. "Yeah, you know what?! I'm glad too! If you think I'm a liar, then you should go, Rebecca." He turned around and left for the door.

"Seeley Booth, don't you dare walk away from me!" She shouted after him.

But he wasn't around to hear.

* * *

As soon as the door opened, all of his sorrows disappeared. There was only him, the wallet full of money he got from the bank earlier, and that deliriously good-looking blackjack table in the center of the large casino.

His fingers itched the moment he took a first step into the large, dimly lit room. He'd slipped before, so what was one more time?

"Game on, Baby." He mumbled to no one in particular as he made his way through the hundreds of people, accompanied by the sounds of winning.

Did he have a bad conscience? No. Why not? Because he had nothing to lose anymore. The relationship with his girlfriend was over slowly but surely.

"How much?" The dealer asked him expectantly, holding his hand over the stacks of chips in front of him.

"Three grand."

* * *

She woke up to the shrill sound of the doorbell followed by a few pokes against her front door. _Who the hell is this? It's 3:30 in the morning,_ she noted after a glance at the clock.

She got up and padded to the door. In her sleep-confused state it took a moment for her to realize who was standing there.

"Booth?" She was shocked to see him. Not only was this time inhumane (especially for Booth) but he also looked like hell. The big dark circles under his eyes spoke volumes and on top of it all he was drenched due to the raging storm outside.

"Does your offer still stand?" He asked with a raspy, nearly vulnerable voice.

"Of course, come in…" She answered without hesitation and pulled him into her apartment.

"I tried it, Bones… I- I really did but I…"

"It's okay." She reassured him. "At least you're here now." And she was glad that he was. Because even though she normally didn't care about other people's lives, with Booth it was different. If she could help him with his problem, then she was more than willing to do anything.

* * *

 _"_ _You're gambling."_

 _"_ _No, I'm not."_

 _"_ _Don't lie to me, Booth. You're gambling. Every evening you drive to that casino after work and you stay there all night."_

 _Booth couldn't contain his anger anymore. "You followed me? What gives you the right to do that?!"_

 _"_ _We're living in a free country, Booth. I can go wherever and whenever I want." She answered him calmly._

 _Her tranquil manner set him all the more on edge. How could she do this? And why is she so damn calm about it?! "That's none of your business, Brennan!"_

 _"_ _Okay, then give me a gun." she answered flatly, without hesitation._

 _"_ _What?! No!" Booth shook his head in disbelieve. "What has that to do with my gambling addiction anyways?!"_

 _"_ _Your late-night gambling affects your ability to stay focused on your job. Your job is to protect me, ergo: I get a gun. Oh and by the way, you just confessed your gambling addiction."_

 _Why did he feel like a little boy who just got a lecture from his teacher? "You're crazy, Brennan…"_

 _"_ _I'm not! My argument is valid!"_

 _Booth just shook his head and waved at the stack of folders he'd left on her desk. "Need you to sign these. Let me know when you're done and I'll come and get them."_

 _As he turned around she suddenly jumped to her feet and stepped in front of him._

 _"_ _Wait, Booth."_

 _"_ _What?" He barked. "Stop trying to convince me to give you a gun, Its just not going to happen."_

 _"_ _No, that's not what I meant." She bit her lip before she continued. "Promise me you'll come to me the next time you want to go gambling again."_

 _As he looked at her he could see how difficult it was for her to offer him something like that. Showing affection towards others wasn't something Dr. Temperance Brennan normally did. He'd learned that not long after they got to know each other. And here she was, standing in front of him and offering her help._

 _"_ _Alright. You win. I promise." He couldn't deny her that. In fact he couldn't deny her anything. And that simple fact was what concerned him the most._

 _She nodded "Okay. Then… I'll call you as soon as the files are ready…"_

 _"_ _Thanks." And then he was gone._

* * *

"You're drenched, Booth…"

She took his arm and dragged him to the bathroom where she handed him a big towel.

"I might have some clothes David left here." She rooted through her drawers before finding a t-shirt and sweats, which she handed him as well before she went out to the kitchen and opened a beer for him.

"Thanks, Bones." He mumbled as he accepted the beer and slumped down on the couch next to her a few moments later. After taking a long gulp he sat it on the table and buried his face in his hands, sighing heavily.

Brennan leaned into him, placing a hand on his biceps as a form of encouragement.

"How much did you lose?"

"Five…" He answered flatly after a moment.

"Five-hundred?"

"No, Bones… Five-thousand."

"Booth…" She gasped.

"I know, Bones… I know, okay? I was stupid… Didn't realize it until it was too late… God, Rebecca will kill me."

"She won't. She loves you."

"I'm not so sure of that anymore. We had a fight today…"

* * *

 **Please let me know what you think :)**

 **xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys,**

 **I'm so sorry for the delay. The past few months have been crazy. So here's a small chapter to make up a bit :)**

 **Thanks again to NatesMama for the help!**

* * *

That night Booth slept in Brennan's guest room and maybe sleep would have been the best option for him but he just couldn't stop tossing and turning and keeping his eyes closed without thinking about his f***** up life.

Not only did he relive his gambling addiction again but also was he lying to the woman he was in a relationship with. And on top of that he didn't love that woman anymore like a man should love a woman. Instead the woman he craved for was sleeping in the room next door. Instead of Rebecca, _she_ was the one he couldn't stand to hurt. He wanted to find a way out of this addiction – for _Brennan_.

But he was desperate to ban those thoughts out of his mind. This was by no means what his Pops had always taught him. He was in a relationship with Rebecca and he had to make things right between them. Seeley Booth wasn't the man to betray a woman.

He sighed in frustration and turned around in bed. How the hell did this even happen? A few months ago Brennan was just his partner he was forced to work with. They weren't even friends, hell, he didn't even like her back then. Solving crimes seemed to be their only destiny.

But somehow this working relationship grew into something more. A friendship with late-night take out at the office and sometimes they even met for a coffee on the weekends.

Seeley Booth soon learned to see behind the mask that was Dr. Temperance Brennan. He understood her vulnerabilities and he appreciated her faith in him. Somehow she grew to the person he went to when he needed advice. Because if there was any person in this world who was completely honest and surprisingly understanding, it was Temperance Brennan.

And she fascinated him. But he wasn't allowed to feel like that. He was a man with commitments. He was in a relationship with Rebecca. Hell, they even wanted to start a family! So what he had to do was forget about his feelings for Brennan and talk with Rebecca about the gambling.

It had to work out. There was no other option for him.

He sighed again in frustration. Sleep wouldn't come so he decided that a cold shower might clear his head. After he was out of the shower and dried off, he dressed in the clothes Brennan had given him that had belonged to her ex-boyfriend, David. He couldn't deny that it was a strange feeling, but it was better than wearing his own clothes that reeked of smoke and failure. He shook his head and walked to the kitchen, looking for a cup of coffee.

"Booth?" A very sleepy Brennan shuffled into the kitchen. "Why are you up? It's still early."

"Yeah, I… I couldn't sleep. Want a coffee?" He motioned to the still steaming coffeepot and took a cup after she nodded in agreement.

"Sorry, did I wake you? I really thought I was quiet."

"No, it's okay, I couldn't sleep either." She smiled as she took the offered cup.

"You couldn't sleep? Why Bones, is something wrong?" He couldn't hide the concern in his voice and suddenly all his current problems were forgotten.

"No Booth, I'm just concerned about you… First your gambling addiction and now you tell me your relationship with Rebecca isn't as it should be anymore. Why didn't you tell me, Booth? You promised me that you wouldn't lie to me, but you still did. And I trusted you. How can I help you if you aren't honest with me?" She looked at him with hurt in her eyes.

Those sad eyes made Booth's heart break. He _knew_ about her trust issues. They had talked about that several times. And it was true. He _had_ promised her to not betray her trust in order to gain it in the first place.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Bones… I really thought I could solve this problem without any help-" He sighed. "I failed at that. But I didn't want to lie to you, Bones…"

"Yeah well, but you did! I asked you about your addiction and you still denied it!"

"I _know_." He hid his face in his palms and breathed out loudly. "You have every right to be angry at me, Bones. I understand that, but please know that I didn't want to betray your trust…"

She sighed. "Just… Just don't do it again, Booth." She tried to hide the tears that were already forming in her eyes but she couldn't stop one from rolling down her cheek. So she brushed it away with her hand and turned away from him. "I want to help you, Booth, but… I can't do that when you lie to me."

"Yes, of course." He stood up, turned her around and hugged her close. Seeing her cry wasn't something he got to see very often and it hurt him. After all, he was the reason for her tears.

"I'm so sorry, Bones." He whispered. "So sorry, I won't do it again… Please forgive me. Don't cry anymore."

She nodded, brushed the tears away and stepped away from him. "Yeah, so… let's just face your problems, Booth. If you need money then I can give you that. Not for the gambling of course." She gave him a stern glare. "I want you to come to me whenever you feel the need to gamble again. Promise me?"

Booth nodded "I promise. Thanks, Bones."

She nodded again. "With… Rebecca… I can't help you with that. You have to talk to her, okay? She'll understand, she loves you."

"Yeah…" He sighed. _But do I really want her to understand?_

* * *

 **Please give me a review and tell me what you think :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey there :)  
** **Finally I found the time to write a new chapter. Sorry for the delay my life is just really busy at the moment.**

 **Thanks again to NatesMama for beta! :)**

 **Enjoy reading!**

* * *

"Bones, what are you doing here?" Booth shut the door behind him, shocked to see _her_ standing there.

"Well maybe I want you to tell me what's wrong suddenly, and since you refuse to answer my calls and decided to tell the security to not let me into the Hoover building anymore, I came here." She crossed her arms in front of her chest defensively and raised her head high.

"Do you care to explain this to me Booth?!"

That night where he slept in her apartment was three weeks ago. They had talked about his gambling problem and he had promised her to come talk to her when he felt the need to gamble again.

But since that day Booth had shut her out completely. He never came to her office anymore with coffee to go. He never asked her to have lunch in the diner with him. When there was something work related he'd send a junior agent.

And Brennan would never admit it but she missed all of that. She missed his stupid jokes that weren't even funny, she missed his manner to cheer her up whenever she felt sad about something, she missed his never ending tries to drag her away from work because she'd forgotten to eat again. Damn it, she missed _him_. And she didn't know what went wrong between them.

That's why she was standing in front of his door on a Saturday evening. And that's why she wouldn't leave until she knew.

The agent sighed and shook his head. "I can't explain it to you, Bones, but… but there's a reason I'm doing all of this."

She huffed "Are you gambling again?"

"What? _No!_ It's something different!" By now he also had crossed his arms in front of his chest and was speaking a little more vigorous "And I'd like you to go now before my girlfriend sees you."

Brennan narrowed her eyes at him "Oh so you think you can boss me around, Booth? I tell you this, I won't go away until you tell me what's wrong!"

"What's wrong…" He laughed a little at that statement. "You want me to tell you what's wrong, Bones?"

The minute she nodded her head he took a step forward, gripped her arms with his large hands and pressed his lips onto her mouth where they remained for a few long seconds; he didn't even recognize her stiffened posture.

When he broke away from her he took that step back hurriedly and hissed "That's what's wrong! I'm thinking about another woman while I'm in a relationship with the wrong one. Tell me, are you happy now, Bones?!"

She couldn't form a single word in her mind, she didn't even recognize him asking her a question. She just stood there stock still, staring at him.

After a few seconds Booth shook his head in defeat. "Yeah… I figured. So please Temperance, don't come here again. I just have to concentrate on my relationship with Rebecca. Without any distractions…" He stated, his back to her.

The sound of the door closing shut in front of her face was what brought her back to reality again. _Did he really just do that?_

She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat immediately and turned around on autopilot.

Back in her apartment later she didn't remember going back to her car and driving home either. The only think that was on her mind the whole time was _'Did he_ really _do that? Did he really say that?'_

In her confused state only one person could help her now.

XXX

Booth on the other hand couldn't believe that he'd lost control in this very moment. Not only did he _think_ about another woman while being in a relationship with Rebecca, he'd even _kissed_ her and with this action all his hopes of having a normal relationship (oh this irony) with her had been destroyed.

"Seeley? Who was at the door?"

He flinched a little at her voice pulling him out of his thoughts. "Just someone who needed directions…"

"Oh, okay… Dinner's ready in a few minutes. Would you set the table please?"

He nodded still absentmindedly. His plan had been to stay away from her until he could think clearly again; until he could focus on Rebecca again. After that he would have been happy to strengthen his friendship with Brennan, but _now_? He could forget about all of that…

XXX

"He did _what_?! Oh Sweetie, I'm so happy for you! Tell me, is he a good kisser? Oh, you don't have to answer that, I know he is! So what are you going to do next?" she asked excitedly.

"Ange, calm down… It was just a plain kiss and I have no idea what I'm going to do next. He wants me to stay away from him…"

"…and you're so not gonna do this! I knew the minute I saw you two together that you were perfect for each other. That little blondie he calls his girlfriend can start packing her things finally."

"Angela! I don't want to be the reason why he breaks up with her!"

"Who are you and what did you do to my perfectly rational anthropologist? You don't know what to do, Bren? Well then I do the thinking for you. I can't count all the times you told me your 'humans aren't made for monogamous relationships' speech. Now you're going to do a little research in that area."

Brennan looked at her best friend with narrowed eyes. "I… don't know what that means…"

"It means, Brennan, that you will put your feminine charms to use on that FBI-Studly. You have all those gorgeous sexy curves, now use them!"

The anthropologist still looked confused. "Why would I do that?"

Angela rolled her eyes in mock frustration "What's wrong with having a little affair, Honey? You certainly didn't have problems with that sort of thing on the past."

"An affair… with _Booth_?!"

* * *

 **Soooo what do you think? Please leave me a review.**

 **I'm really nervous about that chapter :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Finally the next chapter is here! :)**

 **I'm so sorry for the delay because I know that sometimes waiting for some chapters is so hard. At the moment my life basically consists of University and work, along with illness that leaves little to no time for fanfiction :( But the illness is gone and I'm really glad for Christmas break so I could find the time to finally come back to writing :)**

 **Thanks so much though for the reviews and new followers throughout that long pause! I really appreciate your opinion.**

 **And a big thanks to NatesMama for the editing! :) **

**Sooo, I hope you all had a wonderful time celebrating Christmas with your loved ones, and I wish you a Happy New Year 2016. Let's hope it'll have only good things in store for us.**

 **What's left to say is: enjoy reading :)**

* * *

 _Brennan looked at her best friend with narrowed eyes. "I… don't know what that means…"_

 _"It means, Brennan, that you will put your feminine charms to use on that FBI-Studly. You have all those gorgeous sexy curves, now use them!"_

 _The anthropologist still looked confused. "Why would I do that?"_

 _Angela rolled her eyes in mock frustration "What's wrong with having a little affair, Honey? You certainly didn't have problems with that sort of thing on the past."_

 _"An affair… with_ Booth _?!"_

 _Angela's_ _completely insane if she thinks I would ever do this!_ Brennan huffed in frustration when her so called best friend had left. _I can't even believe she proposed that to me. I'm not like that! Not with Booth anyway!_

She grabbed a bottle of wine in the kitchen and went to her laptop in the living room. Tonight she wouldn't solve her problem involving Booth, maybe a little writing could clear her head for a bit.

Later that night, after tossing around in bed for hours she'd come to a decision. She would distance herself from Booth. Just until she could find someone new again.

After all that's what he did with her, right?

Three months later…

Booth came home late in the evening. He threw his keys on the small table near the door and stored away his gun. He was frustrated. Frustrated because work seemed to only consist of paper work these days and frustrated because his scientist partner slash best friend wouldn't talk to him anymore. Except if it was work-related of course.

And he hated that situation right now. He hated it because he didn't know what was going on in her life for weeks now. And he just _had_ to know. How else could he protect her if something happened to her? Protecting her. That's what he'd done for years now. And he missed that sense of calm it gave him. He just plainly missed _her_.

And then there was his girlfriend too. Since that… incident... with Bones at his front door a few weeks back, things had been tense between him and Rebecca. Well, more tense than before. She had distanced herself from him, as much as Bones had.

At least he knew now that his relationship with Rebecca had to end. No matter how things would go on with Brennan, his feelings for his current girlfriend had subsided over the last weeks and months. He felt ashamed for still staying with her. For holding something up that was already determined to break down. But he was still a good guy, and he didn't know how to tell Rebecca without hurting her too much.

Booth woke up from his current daydream when he noticed something was different in his apartment. He glanced at his watch, it was 11.30pm already. A time where it shouldn't smell deliciously in here.

He narrowed his eyes. "Rebecca?"

"Oh Seeley, you're here finally." Rebecca came out of the kitchen, grinning like a Cheshire cat. She stopped in front of him, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his lips.

Booth was too dumbstruck to do anything at that moment. "Wha- I mean, what are you doing?" he spoke after she let go of him.

Again the woman grinned excitedly, took his hand in hers and dragged him to the kitchen table where a ready-cooked dinner waited for him. Candlelight included.

"I cooked for you!" she squealed.

"I can see that, but why?" He asked while he sat down.

"I have to tell you something. But first, you have to eat. Want some pork?"

They ate in relative silence; all the while Booth was contemplating what she might tell him afterwards. She was glowing, that was obvious. So it had to be positive.

Meanwhile Rebecca could hardly contain her excitement and she hoped that Booth wouldn't take his time eating. She really needed to tell him this now.

"So, what has you so excited" Booth asked a few minutes later after he was finished. _Man, is she really jumping up and down on that chair?_ He had to stop himself from rolling his eyes at her acting. She was so un-Rebecca-like.

"Seeley," she began slowly. "I-I know we had to wait so very long for this moment but…" She bit her lip to stop herself from squealing. "You're going to be a daddy!" With that she jumped up and threw herself into his lap, grinning from ear to ear.

Her excitement died down quickly as she recognized his shocked expression. She pushed herself away from him a little bit. "What? Aren't you happy?" She waited for a response from her boyfriend. "Seeley, please talk to me. That's what you wanted, right? It's what _we_ wanted."

The agent took a sharp intake of air and pushed Rebecca off of his lap. He stood up, pacing nervously up and down the room. "You're pregnant, for sure?"

Rebecca nodded "Yes. Aren't you happy about it? You always wanted to be a daddy."

He ignored her question and asked one of his own instead "How far along are you?"

"Nine weeks. Seeley… are you _happy_?"

Booth brushed his hand across his face. "Yes, I-I guess I'm happy, I just, I need some time." With that he stormed out of the kitchen and out of the apartment, leaving his nervous girlfriend behind.

He had to see her. Had to see Bones. There were so many things he needed to tell her, so many things he needed to fix between them.

 _A baby! I'm going to be a dad!_ Booth was torn into two. Of course he was happy! Being a dad, that's what he always wanted. But the giant problem was, that it wasn't the right mother anymore. He'd decided to end things between them. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

"Bones, come on please open the door. I know that you're in there!" He'd seen the lights on as he parked his car in front of her apartment but even though he'd been ringing the door bell and banging on her front door, she still wouldn't open it.

"You know, I still have that spare key, and I'm not afraid to use it. Come on, Bones, I have to tell you something."

"The spare key won't take you much further." Brennan answered coldly as she opened the door a little. And Booth could see she was right because she still had the chain locked.

"Bones, please let me in, it's really important."

"I don't see why anything regarding your personal life should be of any importance to me, Booth."

"It could be about work, too!" He answered indignantly.

"Oh, and that couldn't wait until tomorrow?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Okay, it's personal, but please, Bones… I need an advice. An advice from my best friend, please?"

She really had to work on her skills to resist his puppy-dog eyes. With a loud sigh Brennan unlocked the chain and opened the door for him to come in. "Please hurry up, I'm really tired and wanted to head to bed soon."

"Yeah. I just…" Booth continued his pacing through the room while Brennan sat down on her couch, looking at him expectantly.

"I don't know what to do. How come she's so happy now? Because we weren't and I wanted to call it quits but I didn't know how and now _this_ and she cooked for me and all and I-"

 _"_ _Booth!"_

He startled and turned around, facing her "Huh?"

"What are you talking about?!"

The agent let himself fall onto the couch burring his face in his hands. "I'm sorry. I- Rebecca, she's… she's pregnant and I'm the father."

With that he looked up at her and he could have sworn he saw for a split second hurt in her eyes. "Tell me what to do." He really looked desperate now.

It took some time for Brennan to realize what he'd just said and to gather her thoughts. "But Booth, a family, that's what you always wanted."

"I don't know Bones… I don't know anything at the moment. Would that have happened a few months ago? Then hell yeah, I would have been happy. But since then, a lot of things happened, you know? Lot of things changed." He looked into her eyes and dared her to know _what_ exactly had changed.

After a few minutes she broke their eye contact and stared at her lap instead. "Well, I really don't know what you want me to tell you, Booth."

"I guess I just… I needed to tell you that… I miss you."

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 **Please leave me a review and tell me what you thought about the new chapter :)**

 **xx**


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys, it's been a long time again since the last chapter. I know and I'm sorry. But with all my stuff from University it's difficult for me to concentrate on other things.

So after those sad sad news from yesterday, here's a new one. I hope you enjoy :)

As always a biiiig thanks to NatesMama for editing :)

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 _After a few minutes she broke their eye contact and stared at her lap instead. "Well, I really don't know what you want me to tell you, Booth."_

 _"I guess I just… I needed to tell you that… I miss you."_

„Don't say that. It won't change anything." She told him without looking at him.

"Why? Why can't I have my best friend back?"

"Because, Booth, I'm sick and tired of your behavior towards me! First it was _you_ who turned away from _me_ , only to kiss me and leave me standing in your hallway. And now I've decided to do the same. I've decided to let you live whatever life you want to live. That life doesn't include me though!"

He gasped "I never said that! I never said that I wanted to live a life without you!"

"Are you even listening to me, Booth? You turned away from me first, you treated me like I was invisible. Now you got your girlfriend pregnant. That's all you ever wanted. Being a father, caring for a child. You chose, Booth, now live with it."

He shook his head vehemently "You don't understand, Bones. I want to be a father. But not… not to Rebecca's child. Not anymore…" His words came out quieter and quieter until she could barely hear him in the end.

But now it was Brennan's turn to gasp. "Booth, that's… that's how things are now. And you're not that type of man to back down now."

"I know that okay? I _know_ …" He sat there burying his face in his hands. "I know… I made so many mistakes over the last few months, Bones… I know I wasn't fair to you and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry but I hope that I didn't piss you off enough to let me alone in this now." He looked up at her, tears in his eyes. "I can't do this alone, Bones. Can't do this without my best friend…"

She was silent for a long time while Booth returned to his former position, burying his face in his hands. She thought about his words, about the situation he found himself in. She hated to see him like that. He didn't deserve to feel like that.

Brennan bit down on her lip and walked to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You're not alone, Booth…"

He looked up at her bleary eyed. "I'm not?"

She smiled and shook her head. "Is that one of those times where _you_ are scared and I can hug you instead of the other way around?"

He laughed a little and pulled on her hand so she sat next to him "Yeah, I guess that's one of those times."

So she did just that. She wrung her arms around him and encased him in a hug which he gladly took. "Thanks, Bones." He mumbled against her shoulder after some time. "This means a lot to me."

Brennan didn't respond to that. She just revealed in the feeling of having him near again. She _did_ miss him. And it wasn't clear to her until that very moment.

"So what are you going to do now?" She asked after a while.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I guess I have to get used to the thought of me being a dad."

She nodded. "Everything will be okay, Booth. You'll be okay. Tomorrow you'll see that it isn't as bad as you think it is today."

He smiled "Where does that optimistic speech come from? Who are you and what did you do to my best friend?"

She slapped his shoulder playfully "Stop that, Booth, I'm being serious."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. And you're right. It's God's plan for me after all, and he wouldn't let me down."

Brennan decided to stay quiet. She didn't agree with him on that matter, he knew that. And he was thankful that she didn't start the "God is a myth" speech again. Instead she stood up and went into the kitchen only to return minutes later with two bottles of beer. One of them she handed to Booth who took it thankfully.

"So how far along is she?"

After a big gulp of his drink he answered "Nine weeks…"

She had to hesitate for a moment at the mention of this date but again decided to leave it uncommented.

"You sure?" At least she didn't make it _that_ obvious.

He nodded "That's what she told me. I guess that's what her OB/GYN told her. That has to be specific, right?"

"Yes, todays technology is able to determine the specific day when the embryo was-"

"Okay!" He stopped her "I don't need to hear that."

"Sorry. Would you rather have a boy or a girl?"

They continued to talk about the baby until it was way past midnight. Booth even began to see things not as dark anymore. But when he saw that it was 4am already, he decided to leave. She looked exhausted and he felt bad for being the reason why.

"So… I see you tomorrow? Lunch at the diner?"

She smiled warmly at him "Yes, I would like that very much."

He smiled in return and let out a sigh of relieve before he bent forward and placed a kiss on her cheek. "Thanks, Bones. For everything."

She just smiled and shut the door behind him. Alone again she herself let out a sigh – of what? Relief? Frustration? Sadness? She didn't know, what she did know was that something was very, very wrong.

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Please tell me your thoughts :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Sooooo here's my new chapter for you! I hope you'll like it :)**

 **Thank you for all the reviews, favorites and follows. I really love all of them!**

 **Let's not forget NatesMama who edited this - thank you!**

 **Enjoy reading :)**

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When Booth entered the bedroom that morning Rebecca, of course, was asleep and he couldn't help but feel relieved about that. Even though he'd been talking with Bones about his… situation for hours, back at home it didn't feel lighter at all. There was a heavy weight in his chest and at the moment it felt impossible to make it go away, to stay positive.

He knew that eventually he had to come around. This child didn't deserve to be unwanted. Hell, a child was all he'd ever wished for. But now? Things just didn't feel right. His gut told him that.

With a sigh he let himself fall into the pillows and he instantly knew how exhausted he was. It didn't take him long to fall asleep. _Tomorrow you'll see that it isn't as bad as you think it is today,_ were the last words of his Bones he remembered before he gave in to his exhaustion.

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"I want to know where you were last night, Seeley!" Rebecca stood in the kitchen, arms crossed in front of her chest.

 _Man I think I have a déjà vu…_ "I was at Bones', okay? No need to be so pissed!", he told her while stirring the coffee in his cup.

"Oh, so you think it's okay for me that you spend the whole night with another woman after I told you of my pregnancy?" she snarled.

"We just talked! I told you I needed some time and-"

"Some _time_!", she huffed. "But you had the _time_ to spend _hours_ with Temperance!"

"What the hell's the matter with you? It's not like… like we had sex, okay?!"

Rebecca narrowed her eyes at him "I swear, Seeley, if things go like this from now on, you'll never see this child! I can do that!" she told him in a rather childish manner.

The agent had to suppress a sarcastic laugh "You want to blackmail me, Rebecca, really? You don't own me, I'm a grown man so stop that childish speech!" He was angry now. How dare she?

She huffed again "You'll see, Seeley!"

He had enough then "Oh for God's sake, Rebecca! Grow up already! This child isn't some toy you can do as you please with! And don't you dare try to blackmail me! I won't have that!"

With that he stood up, went into the hallway to grab his keys.

"Why do you always run away when we're discussing something?", Rebecca screamed frustrated.

"You blackmailing me isn't a discussion, Becca. We can talk about it again when you've come to your senses again."

With that he left his apartment.

He drove around the city, the casino as his destination in mind. He needed that to calm down again. What had he to lose after all? One or two rounds of Black Jack couldn't hurt anyone, could they?

He parked his car in front of the Royal Casino and get out. He'd never been here during daytime. Somehow, without all those glowing neon lights, the building had lost it's fascination. He couldn't help but feel disappointed.

In that moment, he came to his senses again. He thought back to that night all those months ago when he arrived at Bones apartment in the middle of the night.

 _"_ _I want you to come to me whenever you feel the need to go gambling again. Promise me?"  
Booth nodded "I promise."_

He took in a heavy breath, took out his phone and dialed the number he knew by heart.

 _"_ _Booth?"_

"You need to come to the park", was all he said before hanging up again and getting back into the car.

Temperance was frustrated. He wanted her to come to the park. Okay. But how the hell was she supposed to find him there?! Couldn't he tell her where he was at least? She had been walking around for an hour and a half, worried sick for him – he'd sounded defeated – until she'd found him sitting on a bench. And seeing him there, her heart ached for him, metaphorically speaking, of course. He didn't just sound defeated, she looked like it as well, even from a distance. She'd never seen him that way.

When she arrived at the bench she sat down wordlessly next to him. Like always didn't know what to say in these moments so she sat there and hoped that he would be the one to make the first move. And she didn't have to wait long…

"Thanks for coming", he said, his voice broken.

"Of course, Booth", she answered quietly. She bit her lip while thinking of the possibilities she had now but Booth stopped her thoughts again. And what he said next made her heart stop.

"I went to the casino again…"

"Booth…" She placed her hand on his.

He didn't hesitate to entwine their fingers together. This is what he meant. One touch of her – or even her presence – and he felt calm again, felt like he could breath again.

"I didn't go in, Bones" he sighed. "I remembered what you said about coming to you if I ever felt the need to gamble again."

She sighed in relief "And I meant that Booth-"

"Yeah, but the point is I _wanted_ to do it again, Bones. I wanted it so badly that I couldn't think straight anymore…"

"But Booth, you remembered! And I'm so proud of you that you fought it. And you succeeded, Booth, don't you see that?" She squeezed his hand in encouragement.

Booth rubbed his forehead with his free hand. That nasty headache just wouldn't go away. "I succeeded this time…"

"And you will again, Booth. I know you will."

He smiled a little, though he wouldn't look at her. "Thanks Bones. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Oh, maybe you wouldn't be drinking coffee from the coffee cart now", she told him and held up the two cups she'd purchased earlier.

"Although", she wrinkled her nose "they're cold by now, so maybe you don't want to drink it after all…"

He couldn't help but laugh at that. She could cheer him up with two cold cups of coffee.

"So… Tell me what brought you to that casino." She asked him even though she could very well imagine the reason…

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 **Please leave me a review and tell me what you thought :)**

 **xx Felinxx**


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